Not Poor Jake, Poor Us..(a rant)

Currently, I have been reading Glamour, not for the style they bring but for the advice editorials written by Jake. Personally, wouldn't date him, but the guy has his chops. So I looked on Glamour's website and found the article to see who said what in the comment box. Turns out there was a lot of negative feedback and one of the comments actually struck me as a bit exaggerated:

"You rock rewolf! :D I am also sick of advice columnists,blogs and magazines telling us girls, that if we don't like our guys porn we should just tell him to keep it to himself and not watch it around us. Ummm hello?! We have every right to tell him to stop watching it period! He doesn't like it, the door is right there. Why does the media want us to be wallflowers and just accept men's behaviour?Why is it that they want us to believe our say in a relationship doesn't matter?"

Not going to divulge who wrote it because its not about the person, its about the words. I don't know how exactly to react. At first, I am all for feminism when it comes to women having equal balance in a romantic relationship with any person. But I also think that if a guy has to hide his sexuality from his girlfriend then he is not being honest with her and he needs to evaluate why exactly he is with her. I am not saying a girl should swallow her pride and let her boyfriend just do whatever he wants but when it comes to choices everyone makes them. And both have to communicate with each other what exactly they want in the relationship. Its a commitment, an agreement between two people to care for each other and express all that romantic stuff. If its not then its a fling. So in reality, when sex comes into the picture both need to communicate who wants what and what both can do. As for feminism, I hope girls don't get the wrong picture that its a way to say "to hell with guys" because the basis is equality not a flop of balance. That's my deal for the day. 

Not Poor Jake, Poor Us..(a rant)

Currently, I have been reading Glamour, not for the style they bring but for the advice editorials written by Jake. Personally, wouldn't date him, but the guy has his chops. So I looked on Glamour's website and found the article to see who said what in the comment box. Turns out there was a lot of negative feedback and one of the comments actually struck me as a bit exaggerated:

"You rock rewolf! :D I am also sick of advice columnists,blogs and magazines telling us girls, that if we don't like our guys porn we should just tell him to keep it to himself and not watch it around us. Ummm hello?! We have every right to tell him to stop watching it period! He doesn't like it, the door is right there. Why does the media want us to be wallflowers and just accept men's behaviour?Why is it that they want us to believe our say in a relationship doesn't matter?"

Not going to divulge who wrote it because its not about the person, its about the words. I don't know how exactly to react. At first, I am all for feminism when it comes to women having equal balance in a romantic relationship with any person. But I also think that if a guy has to hide his sexuality from his girlfriend then he is not being honest with her and he needs to evaluate why exactly he is with her. I am not saying a girl should swallow her pride and let her boyfriend just do whatever he wants but when it comes to choices everyone makes them. And both have to communicate with each other what exactly they want in the relationship. Its a commitment, an agreement between two people to care for each other and express all that romantic stuff. If its not then its a fling. So in reality, when sex comes into the picture both need to communicate who wants what and what both can do. As for feminism, I hope girls don't get the wrong picture that its a way to say "to hell with guys" because the basis is equality not a flop of balance. That's my deal for the day. 

Shocking or Not Shocking Editorial! Still "Rockin" Issue

Recently I was flipping through a recent issue of Glamour and I saw an article titled “Why Men Love Porn by Jake” written by a consistent male writer. Even though there were a few things that upset me, I, surprisingly, appreciate Jake’s article for expressing the deal with guys and their consistent flux of porn.  A lot of girls get offended or take it personal when they find out their boyfriend or “significant other” has a rather huge collection of porn and playboy magazines. In some cases, the girl even starts to compare herself to the porn star on the screen or the topless girl on the page. That moment of insecurity puts the girl at risk for an argument with herself of whether she is even attractive enough for her boyfriend or for anyone at all.

The thing is except for amateur porn, most of what is on screen is actually acting. Jake himself says: “We know we’re looking at actors whose tanning, depilating and cosmetic surgery regimens are extreme. When I’m with a woman, I want to touch her skin, look in her eyes and, yes, even feel some hair. No one wants to be with a faker, and at some point, all that stuff is faking.” He made sure to clarify the difference between a “lithe, top-heavy, super-orgasmic bombshell” and “soft, sexy real women.”

There were a few things that bothered me of the article. For example he stated that porn can be an opportunity to connect with the significant other. One of his friends that he uses as a reference is quoted saying, “’Watching together can be a way of conveying your fantasies without having to have that awkward conversation.’”

Sure it could be another way to connect in a private moment but at the same time, it could be another way of losing communication in a relationship. There are certain awkward conversations that should happen between two people in order to establish that they both are willing to go the mile, and trust each other to communicate to the other whatever concern or suggestion they think could fit both.

Glamour's Jake

But at least Jake made sure to explain that guys aren’t all sex fiends: “Like you, we crave connection and caring alongside our crazy sex, but now and then we simply want a quick release, and we may get it from the gross, dumb but somehow arousing stuff that we relied on before we found you. It’s separate from the relationship and in no way equal. The thinking, feeling, warm, soft, sexy real women in our lives are just that: real. And there’s not a glowing screen in the world that comes close.” 

Note: If you want to check it online click on the link below:

http://www.glamour.com/images/sex-love-life/2011/02/0201-jake_at.jpg

Shocking or Not Shocking Editorial! Still "Rockin" Issue

Recently I was flipping through a recent issue of Glamour and I saw an article titled “Why Men Love Porn by Jake” written by a consistent male writer. Even though there were a few things that upset me, I, surprisingly, appreciate Jake’s article for expressing the deal with guys and their consistent flux of porn.  A lot of girls get offended or take it personal when they find out their boyfriend or “significant other” has a rather huge collection of porn and playboy magazines. In some cases, the girl even starts to compare herself to the porn star on the screen or the topless girl on the page. That moment of insecurity puts the girl at risk for an argument with herself of whether she is even attractive enough for her boyfriend or for anyone at all.

The thing is except for amateur porn, most of what is on screen is actually acting. Jake himself says: “We know we’re looking at actors whose tanning, depilating and cosmetic surgery regimens are extreme. When I’m with a woman, I want to touch her skin, look in her eyes and, yes, even feel some hair. No one wants to be with a faker, and at some point, all that stuff is faking.” He made sure to clarify the difference between a “lithe, top-heavy, super-orgasmic bombshell” and “soft, sexy real women.”

There were a few things that bothered me of the article. For example he stated that porn can be an opportunity to connect with the significant other. One of his friends that he uses as a reference is quoted saying, “’Watching together can be a way of conveying your fantasies without having to have that awkward conversation.’”

Sure it could be another way to connect in a private moment but at the same time, it could be another way of losing communication in a relationship. There are certain awkward conversations that should happen between two people in order to establish that they both are willing to go the mile, and trust each other to communicate to the other whatever concern or suggestion they think could fit both.

Glamour's Jake

But at least Jake made sure to explain that guys aren’t all sex fiends: “Like you, we crave connection and caring alongside our crazy sex, but now and then we simply want a quick release, and we may get it from the gross, dumb but somehow arousing stuff that we relied on before we found you. It’s separate from the relationship and in no way equal. The thinking, feeling, warm, soft, sexy real women in our lives are just that: real. And there’s not a glowing screen in the world that comes close.” 

Note: If you want to check it online click on the link below:

http://www.glamour.com/images/sex-love-life/2011/02/0201-jake_at.jpg